If I didn't know any better I'd say, "just another manic Monday!"
My patience for ignorance lately is limited. Very, very limited. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it's hard when it's so close to home.
Okay, so I'm the type of person who treats people the way I want to be treated. In most cases, and in the cases where I'm rude and/or inconsiderate, I can... and will admit it. I'm just sick of people whose actions and words are not the same, or people who give with conditions. I'm guilty of this as well... but at least I see that I do it, admit it, and WANT to change it.
In my later years, I'm realizing what friendship is, and what it isn't. (I've also come to realize, that no matter what age you are, friendships and relationships will always be difficult.) I'm realizing the people I thought I knew, aren't who I thought they were. Is it because I have grown up and am able to see things from a different perspective- being that of a mother or wife? Those are two things I knew nothing about until three years ago. So it shines a new light on every relationship I have. As Gabriella's third birthday approaches, I can't help but wonder if the person I am now and the person I was then would like one another if they met on the street. Does that make sense? I know I have changed. I think differently, I'm not as quick to speak my mind as I used to be. I hold back my opinions, because I've had people throw their opinions at me when I did not care for them. I personally have to make my own mistakes. I don't want to be told that I'm doing something wrong, I am very smart. I assure you, I will figure it out. Look where I am today. I have three amazing children, a great husband, a roof over my head, and food on our table. Literally! My husband doesn't complain if I don't clean up as the girls are licking their fingers, and he's okay with helping out around the house. I'm no Betty Crocker, Martha Stewart or Super Woman, but I'm perfect for my family- and my family is perfect for me.
I don't judge people based on age, experience, or salary. I believe in Karma. I don't believe in treating people unfairly because of their mental or physical setbacks. I believe what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander- with NO age restrictions. At 25 I am just as much of an adult as someone in their 50's, 60's, 70's or even 80's. Life experience, now that is a different story.
My MIL and I have had a few set backs. It's not because we don't get along, by any means, I'd say it's more that we don't really know one another as well as we think at times. I can be pretty dense (the: can't see the forest for the trees type) and I often take things to heart when I shouldn't, or look deeper into something than I should. (You know, the things we're all guilty of.) You know what she tells me when these times occur, it's the difference in life experiences.
Every set back in life teaches me something new. A new way of communicating, a different angle to check out life, and it also shows my flaws. Yes, I do have them, believe it or not!! The one thing I pride myself on is communication, written- not oral. Written. When I have a chance to write things out, and read it 12 times over, I know I'm saying exactly what I mean. I've read it several times to ensure nothing I said can be misunderstood. However, those aren't things I can always prevent, because not everyone thinks the way I do- and back to the "can't see the forest for the trees..."
From this very moment on, I'm taking a stand and changing the things I do not like about myself. I will pick a side and stay on that side. No more wishy washy back and fourth. I know the person I am, the beliefs I hold, and those I wish to instill into my children. I know the influences I want for my children, and those I do not. I know I am doing the very best I can for my children, and husband, but often put myself on the back burner.
I just wish I knew how to take a stand with out burning bridges.
As the thunder rolls (and the power flickers)... I'll post what I came here to do, before I lose my internet! :)
PS: I FINALLY got my nasty nail polish off. I had to file it off because I couldn't find any remover and it was really starting to gross me out. Having nasty finger nails that is! :) I'm happy to report clear nail polish now coats my finger nails!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.